I know it has been far too long since the last posting. Many of you visit here every day, only to find no new update. Thank you so very much for carrying us on your heart, and for your faithfulness to visit here. I plan to spend some time writing this weekend and will have something posted very soon. Our lives have been so full, and we are adjusting to our new "normal". It has been difficult to "carve out" the time to write. Thanks again for your visiting us here.
Stay Tuned ....
Andy
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
Welcome Home Mommy
The sign on the garage door was crafted in love by our children and several of their friends on May 23rd - two days after Muggs went into the hospital for the severe headaches and seizure she experienced on Sunday evening. The sign hung there on the garage door in anticipation of her return - but it wasn't to be... She did receive a "Welcome Home", only this "Welcome Home" was from her Savior. One of the children took the sign down after a few days - I often wonder whether or not they sensed that she would not be coming home - at least to our home. I wept this morning as gazed at the sign. I wept over the dashed hopes of my children, and over the enormity of the loss, and how heavily it weighs on our hearts. Sometimes the grief is suffocating - as if I can hardly breathe. Other times, I sit in bewilderment, finding it ever so difficult to comprehend the permanence of our loss - from an earthly perspective.
That Sunday will forever be etched into my memory. On this particular evening, I went to the grocery store near our home to pick-up a few items for dinner. Muggs had been sleeping for most of the afternoon. When I checked on her upon my return, she was still in the bed and didn't feel like eating. For some reason, she decided to take a shower. My mom, the children and I were having dinner when I heard her call for me. I knew from the sound of her voice that she needed help. When I reached her, she was seated on the floor of the shower. "I think I fell" she said. I could tell that her speech wasn't normal, and that the left side of her mouth was "drooping". We asked her to raise both arms over her head - she did, but had difficulty with her left arm. It was evident that she had experienced a seizure or perhaps even a stroke. I remember thinking: "Oh, God - what is happening to us?" I asked my mom to call 911, while I got Muggs to the bedroom, and got her dressed. By the time I managed to get her clothed, the condition that caused the weakness had resolved.
Aaron Anderson, one of our pastors met me at the hospital. Shortly afterwards, another pastor, John Butler and my friend Scott Hollis arrived to be with us. By this time, Muggs said that she felt better than she had in two weeks. Her headache was completely gone, and she was ready to leave the hospital. But, they admitted her for the evening for observation. Surely, we would be leaving in the morning... To be continued ...
Closing Thoughts and Future Postings
First of all, thank you so very much for your patience in waiting for his posting. I have had neither the will, nor the presence of mind to post before now. I am utterly amazed that you would still visit the blog. I think that I can better manage the blog if I can write small sections at a time - so that is what I am going to attempt to do. I think this will also shorten the cycle time between postings. I am still trying to organize my thoughts around what I want to say, and just what I should include. I do want to recount some of the last few weeks, as well as review God's faithfulness during our battle. I know that many of you want to know how we're doing, and I plan to include that as well. There is just so very much to say. Sometimes the emotions are very raw, and sometimes were are numb - but at all times, we are walking in the good of what God has done for us, and are thankful that we experiencing the sustaining grace of God. We know that He is "near to the broken-hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (Ps 34:18) Our souls are being enlarged as we walk this road of suffering. We are eager for God to meet us, as he has. Please check back soon for a continuation of the "Welcome Home Mommy" posting. I hope to post at least 2 more times this week.
Thanks so much for praying for us - for keeping us before the Father. We need Him, and we need you!
For the family,
Andy
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Update - Sunday / Monday AM - June 10, 2007
Friends and Family:
It has been a most difficult week for me. As you know, Muggs started getting sick with her battle with cancer in the Central Nervous System about the middle of May. It wasnt until after the Celebration Service - actually the day after - that life seemed to come to a screeching halt for me. Ive not done much this week except try to process the loss; and oh, how profound it is. It is difficult to get my arms around the fact that she is "gone". Yet, we continue to experience the sustaining grace of God - His mercies really are new every morning. Even as I write this, I am thankful for His provision, and His faithfulness to carry us through another day.
I promised that I would share with you our experiences over the last few weeks, and I will - only not on this posting. I want to wait a few more days before recounting this. So, please give me grace for a few days, and I will post. I am actually eager to do so, as I believe it will encourage you, and build your faith.
I was encouraged to see so many of you at the funeral home and at the Celebration of her life. It meant so much to the children and me that you would make the time to come stand beside us. One of the effects of our trial, and of the service, is that it has caused me to think of heaven more, and to rejoice that heaven is my destination. As we can now clearly see, our lives are but a vapor - here today, and gone tomorrow.
We are profoundly grateful for you. You have prayed, rejoiced, served, wept, and carried us on your hearts. You have been instruments or conduits through which God has lavishly poured-out His grace on our lives over this short time. I don't know where we would be without your ministry to us in this way. Many of you have expressed a desire to serve us - some of you have felt helpless. I trust however, that you all have prayed; and in so doing, have added your prayers to Jesus' prayers, as He has interceded for us before the Father. What a privilege - please get your arms around that, and know that you have ministered to us in a powerful way.
I would like for you to weigh-in on something. I have been pondering what I should do about this blog space. On the one hand, I feel I should continue to post, if it will serve you and be a help. On the other hand, I have considered taking the space down. I'd like to hear what you think. I am happy to continue, if you think it might serve you in some way. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think. Or, you can always email me at aellise@gmail.com to let me know.
Thanks for living-out what it means to be the Body of Christ, and for bearing our burdens. Please check back in a few days for a new posting.
For the Family,
Andy
It has been a most difficult week for me. As you know, Muggs started getting sick with her battle with cancer in the Central Nervous System about the middle of May. It wasnt until after the Celebration Service - actually the day after - that life seemed to come to a screeching halt for me. Ive not done much this week except try to process the loss; and oh, how profound it is. It is difficult to get my arms around the fact that she is "gone". Yet, we continue to experience the sustaining grace of God - His mercies really are new every morning. Even as I write this, I am thankful for His provision, and His faithfulness to carry us through another day.
I promised that I would share with you our experiences over the last few weeks, and I will - only not on this posting. I want to wait a few more days before recounting this. So, please give me grace for a few days, and I will post. I am actually eager to do so, as I believe it will encourage you, and build your faith.
I was encouraged to see so many of you at the funeral home and at the Celebration of her life. It meant so much to the children and me that you would make the time to come stand beside us. One of the effects of our trial, and of the service, is that it has caused me to think of heaven more, and to rejoice that heaven is my destination. As we can now clearly see, our lives are but a vapor - here today, and gone tomorrow.
We are profoundly grateful for you. You have prayed, rejoiced, served, wept, and carried us on your hearts. You have been instruments or conduits through which God has lavishly poured-out His grace on our lives over this short time. I don't know where we would be without your ministry to us in this way. Many of you have expressed a desire to serve us - some of you have felt helpless. I trust however, that you all have prayed; and in so doing, have added your prayers to Jesus' prayers, as He has interceded for us before the Father. What a privilege - please get your arms around that, and know that you have ministered to us in a powerful way.
I would like for you to weigh-in on something. I have been pondering what I should do about this blog space. On the one hand, I feel I should continue to post, if it will serve you and be a help. On the other hand, I have considered taking the space down. I'd like to hear what you think. I am happy to continue, if you think it might serve you in some way. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think. Or, you can always email me at aellise@gmail.com to let me know.
Thanks for living-out what it means to be the Body of Christ, and for bearing our burdens. Please check back in a few days for a new posting.
For the Family,
Andy
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Arrangements
By now, I'm sure that word has made its way to you that Muggs walked into the arms of her Savior on Friday morning June 1st, right at 5 AM. I have many things to share with you about our last days together, but will save them for a time when I can think more clearly.
I want to use this posting to communicate the plans we have to celebrate her life. We will receive friends on Monday evening June 4th from 6pm - 9pm at Pine Ridge Winkenhofer Funeral Home on US 41 in Kennesaw Georgia.
A celebration service will be held in the Worship Center of The First Baptist Church of Woodstock at 2PM on Tuesday June 5th. The church is located at the corner of Neese Road and Hwy 92 in Woodstock, Georgia.
We know that many of you read this from afar, and it may not be practical for you to attend. Please be released from feeling any obligation to be here. It is enough that you carry us on your hearts, and that you are lifting us before the Throne of Grace.
We love you ....
Andy
"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he as stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him" James 1:12
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Update - May 23, 2007 (Updated Below Friday May 25th)
(Updated Below - Monday May 28th)
Friends and Family,
I have struggled all day with this posting... eloquent words escape me as I communicate today's update with you. On Monday, we learned that there are cancer cells present in Muggs spinal fluid, and that these are the cause of the severe headaches and nausea that she has been experiencing. This is not good news. The doctors believe that they can help relieve some of the pain, and "buy her a little more time" by treating the brain with radiation. Chemotherapy would not be an effective treatment protocol. Naturally, we were taken aback by this news, as we had seen such a great response from the chemotherapy.
The most difficult task I have ever faced, was delivering this news to my precious children. And yet, this was also a holy moment, as through the pain, I spoke to them about the faithfulness of God, and about how all of his purposes for us are for our good. We don't understand this - the children don't, and I don't. But, were clinging to the promises of Romans 8:28-29.
Christmas before last, Annie had a bird feeder on her Christmas list. We've enjoyed watching the birds very much. This morning, as I was watching them, I sensed the Lord speaking to me...
"Not even a sparrow falls to the ground without my knowledge... Do I not love your children more that these? for as much you love your children, My love for them is greater still... My design for them and my plans for them are for good, and not for harm. I will demonstrated my faithfulness in the lives of your children"
We are all hurting deeply. But the presence of sorrow, doesn't indicate an absence of faith. I am choosing to trust God, and I am encouraging the children to trust God. Please continue to pray for us - here are a few specifics:
Thank you for caring for and praying for us during these last six months. We have been sustained by the Lord, and are so grateful for your prayers. I will post as there are new developments.
Andy
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. Psalm 139:14-17
Update: Friday May 25th
As of this morning, Muggs is still in the hospital. She wants desperately to come home for the weekend, and her doctors have been working valiantly to make this happen. However, she has been experiencing episodes of tremendous pain, such that she needs very powerful narcotics to keep her comfortable. I genuinely praise God for the common grace of medicines that will allow her to rest, and not suffer. Although, Muggs' doctor is prepared to order in-home nursing care, they arent here around the clock, and in fact, would only be here for a short time on Saturday, and a short time on Monday. Having witnessed the episodes of pain that she's had, I am unwilling to risk having her away from immediate care. Should she have one of these episodes at home, it would simply take too long to get her relieved of the pain, and I cant bear the thought of this.
We have been hoping, and are still hopeful, that the radiation will begin to kill-off the cancer cells that are causing the lining of her brain to swell. This is what is causing the horrible pain. So far, she has only received two treatments, and it generally takes several to start working. My plea to the Lord is that we would see benefit from the radiation, and have her able to come home - please join me in praying for this as well. Please pray also, that we continue to trust God during this time, and that our faith would be strengthened. We are feeling pretty desperate right now.
Updated: Monday May 28th, 2007
Its just about 1:00 am on Monday as I record this update. I have been with Muggs nearly around the clock since she was admitted last Sunday evening after suffering a seizure at home. This week has been most difficult, as I have watched Muggs suffer - and become increasingly confused. The confusion is being caused by both the disease in the Central Nervous System, and the medications she is receiving for pain control.We are still hoping that she will benefit from the radiation treatment. She has received 4 already, and I believe there are 10 or 12 planned. The radiologist was most kind to come into the office and bring-in staff, on a day when he is normally closed, just so Muggs would not have to wait the entire three-day weekend for a treatment. It is hard to tell if she is benefiting from the radiation just yet. We are so hopeful that she will, and treatments will resume on Tuesday after the holiday.
It has been such an honor to be with her during this time. Although difficult, it has been my joy to serve and to comfort her throughout the difficult days and nights. We have shared many tender moments, even though through most of them, she is confused. There is a sweetness, even a sacredness to the time we are sharing. God has extended extraordinary grace to her to walk through this time, and this is so very evident. I'd like to share some of these with you, and will do so in time. In the meantime, please do keep praying for us - the last prayer requests I posted are still current. For those of you who have taken the time to do so, I would like to thank you for leaving comments. They provide great encouragement, and point us to our Hope, and our Savior. This is a particularly effective way to encourage us, and remind us of His truth. We love you.
Friends and Family,
I have struggled all day with this posting... eloquent words escape me as I communicate today's update with you. On Monday, we learned that there are cancer cells present in Muggs spinal fluid, and that these are the cause of the severe headaches and nausea that she has been experiencing. This is not good news. The doctors believe that they can help relieve some of the pain, and "buy her a little more time" by treating the brain with radiation. Chemotherapy would not be an effective treatment protocol. Naturally, we were taken aback by this news, as we had seen such a great response from the chemotherapy.
The most difficult task I have ever faced, was delivering this news to my precious children. And yet, this was also a holy moment, as through the pain, I spoke to them about the faithfulness of God, and about how all of his purposes for us are for our good. We don't understand this - the children don't, and I don't. But, were clinging to the promises of Romans 8:28-29.
Christmas before last, Annie had a bird feeder on her Christmas list. We've enjoyed watching the birds very much. This morning, as I was watching them, I sensed the Lord speaking to me...
"Not even a sparrow falls to the ground without my knowledge... Do I not love your children more that these? for as much you love your children, My love for them is greater still... My design for them and my plans for them are for good, and not for harm. I will demonstrated my faithfulness in the lives of your children"
We are all hurting deeply. But the presence of sorrow, doesn't indicate an absence of faith. I am choosing to trust God, and I am encouraging the children to trust God. Please continue to pray for us - here are a few specifics:
- We are still praying for complete healing for Muggs, please join us in praying as well.
- Pray that the radiation is effective for relieving the severe headache, the nausea, and for killing all cancer in the fluid. (Muggs is experiencing significant pain)
- Pray that I, and each of the children, would experience the active presence of the Lord - that we would experience His comfort, and experience His peace in a way that surpasses our understanding.
Thank you for caring for and praying for us during these last six months. We have been sustained by the Lord, and are so grateful for your prayers. I will post as there are new developments.
Andy
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. Psalm 139:14-17
Update: Friday May 25th
As of this morning, Muggs is still in the hospital. She wants desperately to come home for the weekend, and her doctors have been working valiantly to make this happen. However, she has been experiencing episodes of tremendous pain, such that she needs very powerful narcotics to keep her comfortable. I genuinely praise God for the common grace of medicines that will allow her to rest, and not suffer. Although, Muggs' doctor is prepared to order in-home nursing care, they arent here around the clock, and in fact, would only be here for a short time on Saturday, and a short time on Monday. Having witnessed the episodes of pain that she's had, I am unwilling to risk having her away from immediate care. Should she have one of these episodes at home, it would simply take too long to get her relieved of the pain, and I cant bear the thought of this.
We have been hoping, and are still hopeful, that the radiation will begin to kill-off the cancer cells that are causing the lining of her brain to swell. This is what is causing the horrible pain. So far, she has only received two treatments, and it generally takes several to start working. My plea to the Lord is that we would see benefit from the radiation, and have her able to come home - please join me in praying for this as well. Please pray also, that we continue to trust God during this time, and that our faith would be strengthened. We are feeling pretty desperate right now.
Updated: Monday May 28th, 2007
Its just about 1:00 am on Monday as I record this update. I have been with Muggs nearly around the clock since she was admitted last Sunday evening after suffering a seizure at home. This week has been most difficult, as I have watched Muggs suffer - and become increasingly confused. The confusion is being caused by both the disease in the Central Nervous System, and the medications she is receiving for pain control.We are still hoping that she will benefit from the radiation treatment. She has received 4 already, and I believe there are 10 or 12 planned. The radiologist was most kind to come into the office and bring-in staff, on a day when he is normally closed, just so Muggs would not have to wait the entire three-day weekend for a treatment. It is hard to tell if she is benefiting from the radiation just yet. We are so hopeful that she will, and treatments will resume on Tuesday after the holiday.
It has been such an honor to be with her during this time. Although difficult, it has been my joy to serve and to comfort her throughout the difficult days and nights. We have shared many tender moments, even though through most of them, she is confused. There is a sweetness, even a sacredness to the time we are sharing. God has extended extraordinary grace to her to walk through this time, and this is so very evident. I'd like to share some of these with you, and will do so in time. In the meantime, please do keep praying for us - the last prayer requests I posted are still current. For those of you who have taken the time to do so, I would like to thank you for leaving comments. They provide great encouragement, and point us to our Hope, and our Savior. This is a particularly effective way to encourage us, and remind us of His truth. We love you.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Interim Update - May 22, 2007
Friends and Family,
Over the last two days, traffic here on the blog has been at its highest level since it was established last December. My sense is that God is placing us on your hearts, and stirring you to intercede for us. That is not without reason... Muggs is still hospitalized, and the doctors have been doing some additional testing. I know that I owe you an update, but have not yet been able to provide one. I do have an update in progress that will post sometime tomorrow. Thank you for your prayers offered on our behalf. Please check back tomorrow (Wednesday) for an update.
Our most pressing need is for relief from the sever headaches and nausea that Muggs is experiencing. The headaches are debilitating, and she needs relief. Please entreat the Lord to deliver her from these.
For the Family,
Andy
Over the last two days, traffic here on the blog has been at its highest level since it was established last December. My sense is that God is placing us on your hearts, and stirring you to intercede for us. That is not without reason... Muggs is still hospitalized, and the doctors have been doing some additional testing. I know that I owe you an update, but have not yet been able to provide one. I do have an update in progress that will post sometime tomorrow. Thank you for your prayers offered on our behalf. Please check back tomorrow (Wednesday) for an update.
Our most pressing need is for relief from the sever headaches and nausea that Muggs is experiencing. The headaches are debilitating, and she needs relief. Please entreat the Lord to deliver her from these.
For the Family,
Andy
Monday, May 21, 2007
Back in the Hospital
While taking a shower last night, Muggs lost consciousness and and fell - though from not very far, as she was sitting on a stool. However, she experienced weakness / paralysis on her left side. She was again taken by ambulance to the Kennestone Hospital. We don't have the full run-down, and are waiting to see the doctors. I will post an update as things become more clear. Please continue to pray for us.
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