The sign on the garage door was crafted in love by our children and several of their friends on May 23rd - two days after Muggs went into the hospital for the severe headaches and seizure she experienced on Sunday evening. The sign hung there on the garage door in anticipation of her return - but it wasn't to be... She did receive a "Welcome Home", only this "Welcome Home" was from her Savior. One of the children took the sign down after a few days - I often wonder whether or not they sensed that she would not be coming home - at least to our home. I wept this morning as gazed at the sign. I wept over the dashed hopes of my children, and over the enormity of the loss, and how heavily it weighs on our hearts. Sometimes the grief is suffocating - as if I can hardly breathe. Other times, I sit in bewilderment, finding it ever so difficult to comprehend the permanence of our loss - from an earthly perspective.
That Sunday will forever be etched into my memory. On this particular evening, I went to the grocery store near our home to pick-up a few items for dinner. Muggs had been sleeping for most of the afternoon. When I checked on her upon my return, she was still in the bed and didn't feel like eating. For some reason, she decided to take a shower. My mom, the children and I were having dinner when I heard her call for me. I knew from the sound of her voice that she needed help. When I reached her, she was seated on the floor of the shower. "I think I fell" she said. I could tell that her speech wasn't normal, and that the left side of her mouth was "drooping". We asked her to raise both arms over her head - she did, but had difficulty with her left arm. It was evident that she had experienced a seizure or perhaps even a stroke. I remember thinking: "Oh, God - what is happening to us?" I asked my mom to call 911, while I got Muggs to the bedroom, and got her dressed. By the time I managed to get her clothed, the condition that caused the weakness had resolved.
Aaron Anderson, one of our pastors met me at the hospital. Shortly afterwards, another pastor, John Butler and my friend Scott Hollis arrived to be with us. By this time, Muggs said that she felt better than she had in two weeks. Her headache was completely gone, and she was ready to leave the hospital. But, they admitted her for the evening for observation. Surely, we would be leaving in the morning... To be continued ...
Closing Thoughts and Future Postings
First of all, thank you so very much for your patience in waiting for his posting. I have had neither the will, nor the presence of mind to post before now. I am utterly amazed that you would still visit the blog. I think that I can better manage the blog if I can write small sections at a time - so that is what I am going to attempt to do. I think this will also shorten the cycle time between postings. I am still trying to organize my thoughts around what I want to say, and just what I should include. I do want to recount some of the last few weeks, as well as review God's faithfulness during our battle. I know that many of you want to know how we're doing, and I plan to include that as well. There is just so very much to say. Sometimes the emotions are very raw, and sometimes were are numb - but at all times, we are walking in the good of what God has done for us, and are thankful that we experiencing the sustaining grace of God. We know that He is "near to the broken-hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (Ps 34:18) Our souls are being enlarged as we walk this road of suffering. We are eager for God to meet us, as he has. Please check back soon for a continuation of the "Welcome Home Mommy" posting. I hope to post at least 2 more times this week.
Thanks so much for praying for us - for keeping us before the Father. We need Him, and we need you!
For the family,
Andy
