Fresh Mercy - Fresh Grace

UPDATED: January 14, 2007 (Below)

NOTE: Chandler just made me aware that the comments option was not enabled on this posting - My sincere apologies to those of you who desire to leave us comments. These are of tremendous encouragement to us. It is a great comfort to know that you are interceeding on our behalf.

I've been waiting for the timing on a new post, and I feel that this is the right time. For those of you who are new to the blog, or need to catch-up, please follow the link on the right labeled "2006", to be directed to "A New Journey of Faith".

These last days have been difficult. Quickly on the heels of surgery, Muggs received her first round of chemotherapy. Because she is very sensitive to medication, she did not tolerate the therapy well. While many of her symptoms are characteristic of others receiving this medication, her symptoms seem to be much more pronounced, and have lasted much longer than we expected. There have been moments where I have been tempted to despair. Let me try to explain. I keep remembering how, just a few of weeks ago, Muggs had some discomfort, but was otherwise carrying-on normally.

Just before surgery, she and the girls were taking a stroll through the neighborhood, when Muggs noticed a large pile of firewood had been delivered and left on the front lawn of a neighbor she met recently. She mentioned to the girls how nice it would be to serve this older couple by carrying the firewood up the hill, around to their back yard. (Isn't that just like Muggs to want to serve others?) I should also mention that she also had with her, a couple of girls belonging to some dear friends of ours. The girls thought it would be pretty cool, so that's just what they did. I don't think the couple knew quite what to make of this, but they consented, and the girls had a great time serving.

Now, just a few short weeks later, it is a struggle for Muggs to be up and about, even for a short period of time. While Muggs has experienced times of discouragement from feeling so weak and ill, I have not heard her complain a single time. John and Bev Butler, (our pastor and his wife) came by for a visit tonight, and I was sharing with them about the evidence of God's grace I was observing in Muggs' life. John commented that this was evident in her countenance and spirit. This is God's grace. She is a woman of tremendous character and courage. She is my hero, and I so admire the way she is responding during this time.

Despite the temptation to despair, I too, have experienced God's sustaining grace. Many of you have ministered life and grace to me over these last days. Scott and Teresa (our Care Group leader and his wife) have been diligent to care of us and have just served us in so many ways. Scott and I speak regularly - usually late at night. He has been so faithful to check on me, as Teresa does with Muggs. Words are inadequate to express our gratitude. John and Bev Butler have cared for us practically and pastorally. Gene and Liz Emerson from Richmond have been caring for us as well. They are keeping watch over us, and have helped us know how best to respond to God, and to face into this trial. Our church family has joined together to care for us in a variety of ways - we don't deserve such kindness. They have prepared meals, encouraged us, prayed over us and for us, and generally selflessly poured out their lives to serve us during this time. Many of you reading this have posted on this blog. God has used each and every comment to remind us, not only of your love and care for us, but of his intentional, specific care for us. Without exception, each time I have experienced the deepest despair, a posting (comment) from one of you comes across my blackberry device bringing hope, encouragement, and a fresh reminder of God's care for us - at that very moment! We are overwhelmed.

Then there is work. My friends and colleagues at work have been most kind. They have gone out out of their way to protect me from myself, and at times, have literally escorted me out of the office, insisting that I go home to care for Muggs. (Don't worry, I'm not leaving her alone to care for herself!) My team is shouldering an extra load, taking care of tasks that fall under the scope of my responsibility. I have a great team, and they take great care of me. I am indebted to them.

One of the benefits of working for a large organization is that there are resources available that often aren't available in smaller companies. Last Friday, I made a call to our Chief Medical Officer, Charlie Hackett. Dr. Hackett is a kind, gracious and compassionate man, who took my call right away, and right away arranged for us to meet together to answer my questions about Muggs' illness, and help evaluate options for a second opinion. Beth, one of the Occupational Nurses on his team would be doing a lot of "heavy lifting" to get us an appointment with the right specialist. Beth is walking through this with us, and has really gone above and beyond to care for us. In particular, Beth has been a great encouragement to me, and God has used them both as an extension of His grace and provision. Beth secured an appointment within about 24 hours with a lung cancer specialist.

We saw the lung cancer specialist at 3 pm yesterday. If you read the last posting, we asked for prayer about this visit. Specifically, that God would confirm the diagnosis and treatment plan directed by Muggs primary oncologist. We like her primary oncologist very much, and had no reason to doubt her treatment or ability, but needed the second opinion to settle our own minds. We were concerned about confusion that would result from conflicting opinions. The second lung cancer specialist concurred completely with the original diagnosis, and therapy. So, this was an answer to prayer. He did make us aware of a clinical trial taking place at the Dana Farber Cancer Center in Boston, Mass. We will evaluate that as an option at the appropriate time. He also made us aware that there were some options around administering the chemotherapy that Muggs might tolerate a bit better, so we'll talk to the primary oncologist about this.

Today we are praising God that Muggs is much better, and it appears we have turned the corner for now. God has been merciful, and the nausea has subsided - she has not had any nausea in more than 24 hours. The fatigue also seems to be abating. She's not 100% yet, but she is much, much better!

Its getting late, so I am going to close for tonight, but plan to add to the bottom of this post tomorrow night. Thanks for your faithfulness in enduring this long posting. Although I have left out many details that can only be attributed to God's specific intervention, I trust your faith has been strengthened by what I have shared. I'd like to leave you with a song that came to mind as I have been considering how God has been sustaining us through these days:

Every morning that breaks, there are mercies anew
Every breath that I take, is your faithfulness proved
And at the end of each day, when my labors are through...
I will sing of your mercies anew.

When I've fallen and strayed, there were mercies anew...
For you sought me in love, and my heart you pursued.
In the face of my sin, Lord you never withdrew...
So I sing of your mercies anew.

And your mercies, they will never end...
For then thousand years, they'll remain.
And when this world's beauty has passed away...
Your mercies will be unchanged.

And when the storms swirl and rage, there are mercies anew...
In affliction and pain, You will carry me through.
And at the end of my days, when Your throne fills my view...
I will sing of your mercies anew.
By Bob Kauflin and Mark Altrogee, 2002 Sovereign Grace
Music (BMI)

UPDATE: January 14, 2007

Muggs has had a few very good days in a row now. The "cloud" seemed to lift on Friday afternoon, and we had a great evening. On Saturday, Muggs, her mom, and the girls ventured out - with Muggs driving - to the gift shop at the hospital. When one of our daughters became upset that Muggs would be losing her hair, Muggs suggested that they all get matching hats. (Great idea Mom!) Well, the shop was closed, so they went to the mall. Thet didnt have alot of luck there, so we are evaluating other sources. Today, Muggs was able to go to church and has done well all day today. We had the opportunity to share part of the afternoon with some dear friends who brought dinner to us, and had a great time of fellowship.

Just a word on the week ahead. Muggs has a trip to the oncologist tomorrow for routine blood work, and later this week to the thoracic surgeon for a follow-up visit, and to have the stitches removed. Other than this, we are hopeful for an uneventful week. We covet your prayers for us. As always, we are asking that God cause the chemotherapy to have its full effect, and destroy every cancer cell. We are trusting God for healing. I (Andy) specifically desire that God increases my faith to TRUST HIM through this process. The journey from faith to fear is most short. I can be filled with faith one moment, and wrestle with fear the next. How about a "just in time" update on the grace of God, and His specific care for us. Just as I concluded the sentence on fear, this post came to my blackberry from a dear friend of ours:

"Isaiah 26:3 You keep him in perfect peace because his mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in YouThis Scripture came to my mind tonite as I was praying for you. I feel like the Lord wants to minister such peace to your hearts - and that is my prayer for you as you go to sleep tonite. That God's peace would envelop your hearts; and that it would be tangible to you as you
rest and sleep".

Thank you... for that fresh reminder of God's specific, tender care for us.