New Post Coming Soon!

I know it has been far too long since the last posting. Many of you visit here every day, only to find no new update. Thank you so very much for carrying us on your heart, and for your faithfulness to visit here. I plan to spend some time writing this weekend and will have something posted very soon. Our lives have been so full, and we are adjusting to our new "normal". It has been difficult to "carve out" the time to write. Thanks again for your visiting us here.

Stay Tuned ....

Andy

Welcome Home Mommy

The sign on the garage door was crafted in love by our children and several of their friends on May 23rd - two days after Muggs went into the hospital for the severe headaches and seizure she experienced on Sunday evening. The sign hung there on the garage door in anticipation of her return - but it wasn't to be... She did receive a "Welcome Home", only this "Welcome Home" was from her Savior. One of the children took the sign down after a few days - I often wonder whether or not they sensed that she would not be coming home - at least to our home. I wept this morning as gazed at the sign. I wept over the dashed hopes of my children, and over the enormity of the loss, and how heavily it weighs on our hearts. Sometimes the grief is suffocating - as if I can hardly breathe. Other times, I sit in bewilderment, finding it ever so difficult to comprehend the permanence of our loss - from an earthly perspective.

That Sunday will forever be etched into my memory. On this particular evening, I went to the grocery store near our home to pick-up a few items for dinner. Muggs had been sleeping for most of the afternoon. When I checked on her upon my return, she was still in the bed and didn't feel like eating. For some reason, she decided to take a shower. My mom, the children and I were having dinner when I heard her call for me. I knew from the sound of her voice that she needed help. When I reached her, she was seated on the floor of the shower. "I think I fell" she said. I could tell that her speech wasn't normal, and that the left side of her mouth was "drooping". We asked her to raise both arms over her head - she did, but had difficulty with her left arm. It was evident that she had experienced a seizure or perhaps even a stroke. I remember thinking: "Oh, God - what is happening to us?" I asked my mom to call 911, while I got Muggs to the bedroom, and got her dressed. By the time I managed to get her clothed, the condition that caused the weakness had resolved.

Aaron Anderson, one of our pastors met me at the hospital. Shortly afterwards, another pastor, John Butler and my friend Scott Hollis arrived to be with us. By this time, Muggs said that she felt better than she had in two weeks. Her headache was completely gone, and she was ready to leave the hospital. But, they admitted her for the evening for observation. Surely, we would be leaving in the morning... To be continued ...

Closing Thoughts and Future Postings

First of all, thank you so very much for your patience in waiting for his posting. I have had neither the will, nor the presence of mind to post before now. I am utterly amazed that you would still visit the blog. I think that I can better manage the blog if I can write small sections at a time - so that is what I am going to attempt to do. I think this will also shorten the cycle time between postings. I am still trying to organize my thoughts around what I want to say, and just what I should include. I do want to recount some of the last few weeks, as well as review God's faithfulness during our battle. I know that many of you want to know how we're doing, and I plan to include that as well. There is just so very much to say. Sometimes the emotions are very raw, and sometimes were are numb - but at all times, we are walking in the good of what God has done for us, and are thankful that we experiencing the sustaining grace of God. We know that He is "near to the broken-hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (Ps 34:18) Our souls are being enlarged as we walk this road of suffering. We are eager for God to meet us, as he has. Please check back soon for a continuation of the "Welcome Home Mommy" posting. I hope to post at least 2 more times this week.

Thanks so much for praying for us - for keeping us before the Father. We need Him, and we need you!

For the family,

Andy

Update - Sunday / Monday AM - June 10, 2007

Friends and Family:

It has been a most difficult week for me. As you know, Muggs started getting sick with her battle with cancer in the Central Nervous System about the middle of May. It wasnt until after the Celebration Service - actually the day after - that life seemed to come to a screeching halt for me. Ive not done much this week except try to process the loss; and oh, how profound it is. It is difficult to get my arms around the fact that she is "gone". Yet, we continue to experience the sustaining grace of God - His mercies really are new every morning. Even as I write this, I am thankful for His provision, and His faithfulness to carry us through another day.

I promised that I would share with you our experiences over the last few weeks, and I will - only not on this posting. I want to wait a few more days before recounting this. So, please give me grace for a few days, and I will post. I am actually eager to do so, as I believe it will encourage you, and build your faith.

I was encouraged to see so many of you at the funeral home and at the Celebration of her life. It meant so much to the children and me that you would make the time to come stand beside us. One of the effects of our trial, and of the service, is that it has caused me to think of heaven more, and to rejoice that heaven is my destination. As we can now clearly see, our lives are but a vapor - here today, and gone tomorrow.

We are profoundly grateful for you. You have prayed, rejoiced, served, wept, and carried us on your hearts. You have been instruments or conduits through which God has lavishly poured-out His grace on our lives over this short time. I don't know where we would be without your ministry to us in this way. Many of you have expressed a desire to serve us - some of you have felt helpless. I trust however, that you all have prayed; and in so doing, have added your prayers to Jesus' prayers, as He has interceded for us before the Father. What a privilege - please get your arms around that, and know that you have ministered to us in a powerful way.

I would like for you to weigh-in on something. I have been pondering what I should do about this blog space. On the one hand, I feel I should continue to post, if it will serve you and be a help. On the other hand, I have considered taking the space down. I'd like to hear what you think. I am happy to continue, if you think it might serve you in some way. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think. Or, you can always email me at aellise@gmail.com to let me know.

Thanks for living-out what it means to be the Body of Christ, and for bearing our burdens. Please check back in a few days for a new posting.

For the Family,

Andy

Arrangements

By now, I'm sure that word has made its way to you that Muggs walked into the arms of her Savior on Friday morning June 1st, right at 5 AM. I have many things to share with you about our last days together, but will save them for a time when I can think more clearly.

I want to use this posting to communicate the plans we have to celebrate her life. We will receive friends on Monday evening June 4th from 6pm - 9pm at Pine Ridge Winkenhofer Funeral Home on US 41 in Kennesaw Georgia.

A celebration service will be held in the Worship Center of The First Baptist Church of Woodstock at 2PM on Tuesday June 5th. The church is located at the corner of Neese Road and Hwy 92 in Woodstock, Georgia.

We know that many of you read this from afar, and it may not be practical for you to attend. Please be released from feeling any obligation to be here. It is enough that you carry us on your hearts, and that you are lifting us before the Throne of Grace.

We love you ....

Andy

"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he as stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him" James 1:12

Update - May 23, 2007 (Updated Below Friday May 25th)

(Updated Below - Monday May 28th)

Friends and Family,

I have struggled all day with this posting... eloquent words escape me as I communicate today's update with you. On Monday, we learned that there are cancer cells present in Muggs spinal fluid, and that these are the cause of the severe headaches and nausea that she has been experiencing. This is not good news. The doctors believe that they can help relieve some of the pain, and "buy her a little more time" by treating the brain with radiation. Chemotherapy would not be an effective treatment protocol. Naturally, we were taken aback by this news, as we had seen such a great response from the chemotherapy.

The most difficult task I have ever faced, was delivering this news to my precious children. And yet, this was also a holy moment, as through the pain, I spoke to them about the faithfulness of God, and about how all of his purposes for us are for our good. We don't understand this - the children don't, and I don't. But, were clinging to the promises of Romans 8:28-29.

Christmas before last, Annie had a bird feeder on her Christmas list. We've enjoyed watching the birds very much. This morning, as I was watching them, I sensed the Lord speaking to me...

"Not even a sparrow falls to the ground without my knowledge... Do I not love your children more that these? for as much you love your children, My love for them is greater still... My design for them and my plans for them are for good, and not for harm. I will demonstrated my faithfulness in the lives of your children"

We are all hurting deeply. But the presence of sorrow, doesn't indicate an absence of faith. I am choosing to trust God, and I am encouraging the children to trust God. Please continue to pray for us - here are a few specifics:

• We are still praying for complete healing for Muggs, please join us in praying as well.
• Pray that the radiation is effective for relieving the severe headache, the nausea, and for killing all cancer in the fluid. (Muggs is experiencing significant pain)
• Pray that I, and each of the children, would experience the active presence of the Lord - that we would experience His comfort, and experience His peace in a way that surpasses our understanding.

Thank you for caring for and praying for us during these last six months. We have been sustained by the Lord, and are so grateful for your prayers. I will post as there are new developments.

Andy

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. Psalm 139:14-17

Update: Friday May 25th

As of this morning, Muggs is still in the hospital. She wants desperately to come home for the weekend, and her doctors have been working valiantly to make this happen. However, she has been experiencing episodes of tremendous pain, such that she needs very powerful narcotics to keep her comfortable. I genuinely praise God for the common grace of medicines that will allow her to rest, and not suffer. Although, Muggs' doctor is prepared to order in-home nursing care, they arent here around the clock, and in fact, would only be here for a short time on Saturday, and a short time on Monday. Having witnessed the episodes of pain that she's had, I am unwilling to risk having her away from immediate care. Should she have one of these episodes at home, it would simply take too long to get her relieved of the pain, and I cant bear the thought of this.

We have been hoping, and are still hopeful, that the radiation will begin to kill-off the cancer cells that are causing the lining of her brain to swell. This is what is causing the horrible pain. So far, she has only received two treatments, and it generally takes several to start working. My plea to the Lord is that we would see benefit from the radiation, and have her able to come home - please join me in praying for this as well. Please pray also, that we continue to trust God during this time, and that our faith would be strengthened. We are feeling pretty desperate right now.

Updated: Monday May 28th, 2007

Its just about 1:00 am on Monday as I record this update. I have been with Muggs nearly around the clock since she was admitted last Sunday evening after suffering a seizure at home. This week has been most difficult, as I have watched Muggs suffer - and become increasingly confused. The confusion is being caused by both the disease in the Central Nervous System, and the medications she is receiving for pain control.We are still hoping that she will benefit from the radiation treatment. She has received 4 already, and I believe there are 10 or 12 planned. The radiologist was most kind to come into the office and bring-in staff, on a day when he is normally closed, just so Muggs would not have to wait the entire three-day weekend for a treatment. It is hard to tell if she is benefiting from the radiation just yet. We are so hopeful that she will, and treatments will resume on Tuesday after the holiday.

It has been such an honor to be with her during this time. Although difficult, it has been my joy to serve and to comfort her throughout the difficult days and nights. We have shared many tender moments, even though through most of them, she is confused. There is a sweetness, even a sacredness to the time we are sharing. God has extended extraordinary grace to her to walk through this time, and this is so very evident. I'd like to share some of these with you, and will do so in time. In the meantime, please do keep praying for us - the last prayer requests I posted are still current. For those of you who have taken the time to do so, I would like to thank you for leaving comments. They provide great encouragement, and point us to our Hope, and our Savior. This is a particularly effective way to encourage us, and remind us of His truth. We love you.

Interim Update - May 22, 2007

Friends and Family,

Over the last two days, traffic here on the blog has been at its highest level since it was established last December. My sense is that God is placing us on your hearts, and stirring you to intercede for us. That is not without reason... Muggs is still hospitalized, and the doctors have been doing some additional testing. I know that I owe you an update, but have not yet been able to provide one. I do have an update in progress that will post sometime tomorrow. Thank you for your prayers offered on our behalf. Please check back tomorrow (Wednesday) for an update.

Our most pressing need is for relief from the sever headaches and nausea that Muggs is experiencing. The headaches are debilitating, and she needs relief. Please entreat the Lord to deliver her from these.


For the Family,

Andy

Back in the Hospital

While taking a shower last night, Muggs lost consciousness and and fell - though from not very far, as she was sitting on a stool. However, she experienced weakness / paralysis on her left side. She was again taken by ambulance to the Kennestone Hospital. We don't have the full run-down, and are waiting to see the doctors. I will post an update as things become more clear. Please continue to pray for us.

Going Home Today!

All-

Muggs' oncologist just left, and has decided to let Muggs go home. Although we don't yet have the results from the cytology study, Muggs is showing some improvement. She will still need to stay hydrated, and receive medication for the headaches and nausea until this passes. She will see the doctor in the office on Monday. We are hopeful, that this is just a virus. All of the blood work "looks really good", and the indicators from the other tests done so far, point to a good result on the cytology study as well. We wont know about this until later - perhaps Monday.

Thanks for carrying us on your heart. We certainly are happy to be going home today!

Andy

Update - May 18, 2007

Friends and Family,

If you havent visited here in the last few days, you may want to read the "Urgent" update that I posted two days ago. The doctors are still trying to determine the cause of the severe headaches that Muggs started experiencing last Friday. So far, tests for bacterial meningitis have come back negative, and we are still awaiting the cytology report that will tell us whether there were cancer cells present in the spinal fluid. When we met with the oncologist late yesterday, she was hoping that they would be available this morning, but as of about 7AM, when the neurologist came by on rounds, they were not. The hope is, that this is simply a viral infection that Muggs' body will just have to fight off. Hopefully, we'll know shortly. We are expecting the oncologist any time now.

Much of the pain has been alleviated by the medication that Muggs is receiving. She is still experiencing periodic nausea. As you can imagine, she is getting weary of feeling so badly. We very much appreciate your prayers for us. Here are some specific ways that you can pray.

• For relieve from the pain and nausea.
• For the test results to come back quickly, and that there would be no cancer present in the fluid.
• That her pain and nausea would improve, so that she can be released today
• That Muggs be restored to total health

Thanks for the ways that each of you have served us. We love you, and are strengthened by your prayers, support, and encouragement. I will post again as soon as we have new information to share with you.

For the family,

Andy

Urgent Update - May 16, 2007

The past several days have been particularly difficult for Muggs. Despite having received her last treatment nearly a month ago, she has been very sick these last few days. She has battled abdominal pain, and nausea, and most troubling, a very painful and unrelenting headache.

Having spent most of the weekend in bed, we finally called the doctor on Sunday. We spoke about a number of possibilities, and concluded that she likely needed fluids. Then, the doctor said that if the fluids did not relieve the headache, then she needed to have an MRI - not what we wanted to hear. However, God was again merciful, and we received the results quickly. The MRI was negative - no tumors were found in her brain.

Muggs was given a prescription for a pain reliever specifically for migraines. The first dosage worked very well, but subsequent dosages have not been particularly effective. All day today, Muggs has battled significant pain. I called the doctor, and she felt that Muggs should be taken to the emergency room. She was transported there ambulance late this afternoon, and has been admitted for testing. There are a number of possibilities. Since her immune system is compromised - an effect of the chemotherapy - this could be an infection. It could be a migraine headache brought about by the treatment or by dehydration. There is also the possibility that cancer cells have spread to the spinal fluid. The neurologist drew some spinal fluid tonight to evaluate all possibilities, and we should begin getting results back tomorrow, but may not have all of them back until the day after tomorrow.

Throughout this trial, we have found God to be true to His promises. We will remain steadfast in our trust in Him for this new development. We are desperate for your prayers for healing, and restoration of health for Muggs. I will update you further as details emerge. As always, thanks for caring for us the way you do.

Andy

Happy Mother's Day Sweetheart!

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life....She rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household...She dresses herself with strength, and makes her arms strong...Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tounge. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." From Proverbs 31

Today, we honor you, sweetheart... You are a true gift from God, and we love you very much!

Andy & The Children,

PET Scan Results - May 10, 2007

Throughout the day today, God has recalled to my mind, the passage from James that our pastor read when he informed our church about Muggs’ diagnosis:

“Count it all joy my brothers, when you encounter trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing”.

This has been a trial – one we didn’t anticipate, and one we certainly would not have chosen for ourselves. This road has been a difficult one, but in the crucible, we have experienced the goodness, kindness, and faithfulness of God – he has met us here. That is not to say that there have not been times of doubt, fear and pain. These emotions have all been present, even prevalent at times. Still, God has demonstrated his care for us in so many unexpected ways. Consider these words from Isaiah 40:

“…the Sovereign Lord comes with power, and his arm rules for him. See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him. He tends to his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those who have young.

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales, and the hills in a balance? Who has understood the mind of the Lord, or instructed him as his counselor? Whom did the Lord consult to enlighten him, and who taught him the right way? Who was it that taught him knowledge, or showed him the path of understanding?

…Do you not know? Have you not heard? Has it not been told to you from the beginning? …He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, and its peoples are like grasshoppers. He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in. He brings princes to naught, and rulers of this world to nothing… ‘To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?’ says the Holy One. Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all of these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power, not one of them is missing.”

Most of us have read these words many times. When things seem to be going pretty well, I think we tend to forget their significance. Yet, God speaks into our lives through suffering. I read these words differently now. Through them, I am aware, not only of his great power, but of his specific care for us.

Muggs’ diagnosis of cancer did not catch God off guard – And though it surprised us, it didn’t surprise him. I am seeking his heart though this time, and though I don’t fully understand, I am endeavoring to trust in his plan for us.

There are a number of things that we have learned during this season. Here are a few of them:

• I have come to realize that our lives are but a teeny “blip” on the timeline of eternity. It challenges me with regard to how I spend my time. I am not nearly intentional enough in a number of important areas

• Through your example, we have learned how to better care for others who are suffering. So many of you have modeled the love and care of Christ before our family during this time of trial. We so much appreciate your care, and I trust that you are aware of our gratefulness, and that you sense the pleasure of God.

• We have become more aware of the suffering of others, and of the fact that suffering is one of the ways that we identify with Christ.

• We have learned that the pain that accompanies times like this, and faith are not mutually exclusive – that sorrow does not indicate the absence of faith. There have been times of deep pain and sorrow – but in our heart, we know that God is working this for our good. We don’t understand it all – but we are endeavoring to trust the heart of God.

Tonight, as I deliberated the choice between updating the blog and procrastinating, I received an anonymous comment here on the blog (I receive them on my Blackberry)… The writer encouraged us by reminding us of their prayers, and the prayers of others. Then closed by saying “Thank you for allowing us to walk with you through this journey". I knew then that procrastination was not an option - you have been so faithful in your care for us, I knew I owed you a timely update.


Mugg’s PET Scan Results

We received the results of the PET Scan today, and they looked good. There was significant improvement in the mass in the upper lobe of her lung, with only slight “uptake” – meaning that there were far fewer living cancer cells present in the primary tumor. Additionally, there was significant improvement in the pleural fluid, and in the lymph nodes in her chest. Also, there were no new lesions noted – meaning that there was not new cancer found. We are so grateful to God for this good report.


Muggs is finished with chemotherapy for now. But the cumulative effect of the chemotherapy has been hard on her, and she has not felt well for a couple of weeks now. Needless to say, she is growing weary of not feeling well. The doctor is recommending that we don’t begin with the Tarceva (maintenance drug) just yet. She wants for Muggs to recover some from the chemo, and doesn’t want to introduce medicine that will cause more side effects. Muggs will continue on the Avastin (not a chemotherapy drug) every three weeks as long as it is working. The doctor said that we would save the Tarceva “until we need it”

We are very pleased with the report, as you can imagine. Unfortunately, some patients get no results from chemotherapy, so we are thankful for the good care we are receiving, and for God intervening to bring healing so far.

In closing, I never want to neglect to thank you for the means of grace you have been to us. So many of you have carried us on your hearts, blessed us with meals, and diligently interceded for us. We have been humbled by your kindness and care for us – and we are so very grateful.

For the family,

Andy

Finally! An Update - Long Overdue

Friends and Family:

I know its been an awfully long time since Ive updated the blog. Its been a busy season, and I have not been able to "carve out" the time - but here we go...

Two weeks ago, Muggs had what we hope will be her last chemotherapy treatment for a while ... hopefully for forever. She received six treatments, one every three weeks. Two measurements taken by CT Scan showed that the primary tumor is shrinking and therefore is responding to the treatment. In theory, this means that the cancer cells are "dying off", hence, the reduction in size. She has also completed the radiation therapy for the tumor in her femur. In total, she received twelve treatments of radiation, with minimal side effects. However, its hard to tell, given all of the medication she has been receiving. The toxicity of the chemotherapy causes a number of strange side effects, and it is difficult to tell whether the radiation contributed to any of these.

Tomorrow, Muggs is scheduled for a PET Scan, to look (biologically) at her body to evaluate what cancer may still exist, and where. We will receive the results of the scan on Thursday May 1oth. So many of you have been faithful to pray for us during this season, and we could use your prayers as we await the results of this scan. As for next steps, if the PET scan "looks good" then she will begin taking a maintenance medication called Tarceva. If it doesn't look as good as the doctor hopes, then we have to option of taking two more treatments of the current regimen of chemotherapy.

While Muggs is understandably weary, and ready to move on from treatment, she is to be commended for the way she has walked through this season. She continues to keep a quiet mind, and rarely is she heard complaining, even though she seldom feels well. She is an example of what it means to suffer well. Neither of us would have chosen this trial, yet God is producing fruit in our lives, and fruit in the lives of others.

While there is a certain sense of loneliness that accompanies those who suffer, there is also a real awareness that there are so many who are walking this road with us. So many have served us in such practical ways, and we are so very grateful for you. You are to be commended as well - you have demonstrated biblical greatness, as evidenced by the way you have served and cared for us. You have sent flowers and practical gifts, prepared so many delicious meals, written cards and notes, watched our children, and run errands. You have called, and you have PRAYED!

You have been an example to us in the way that you have served so unselfishly. And, you have helped us (me, in particular) cultivate humility. Its not my preference to be served - and its difficult to be in a position to "need" others. "Thank you" seems too trite to adequately express our gratitude for you.

I have much more that I would like to share with you, but need to close for now. I will not wait so long before posting again, and I will certainly post after our appointment on May 10th. Until then, here are a few prayer requests, so that you can pray specifically:

• For complete remission of cancer and total healing for Muggs
• That Muggs would continue to gain strength and have relief from the symptoms of treatment. She is experiencing many aches and pains resulting from the treatment. Please entreat the Lord to deliver her from these.
• That we would cast our care on God, who cares for us.
  
• That ALL of our confidence, and ALL of our hope, would rest in Him alone.

For the family,

Andy

"More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope..." Romans 5:3-4

Update - April 2, 2007

Friends and Family,

Although the hour is late, I want to provide an update on Muggs' radiology visit today. We were encouraged by the confirmation that the tumor that was "newly discovered" in her leg, is the same spot that was identified as an "anomaly" on the first PET Scan. Our concern was that this would be truly new, despite nearly a full course of very toxic chemotherapy - this would have been most concerning. However, praise God this is not the case, and it is now clear that the tumor has been there all along.

Some may be asking the same questions that we are, relative to the therapeutic effect of the chemotherapy on the tumor in the leg. The answer we have been given (and have had confirmed) is that the primary tumor is showing good response because it is in an area rich with blood supply, whereas the bones don't receive as rich a blood supply. So, it just follows logically, that it would not respond as readily as the primary tumor.

In any case, the radiologist feels like they can address this tumor adequately with 10 rounds of radiation with minimal to no side effects. The treatments will run on concurrent days through the weekdays beginning on April 9th.

Thank you so very much for continuing to pray for us. Please keep praying and believing for Muggs' total healing from all cancer. We so value you, and are strengthened by your prayers.

For the family,

Andy

A Mixed Day - But God is not Surprised

Greetings:

Thanks to all of you who carry us on your hearts, and are faithful to visit here - only to find no update. I know that many of you would appreciate more frequent postings. So, I apologize for the length of time between postings... its been a very busy season...too busy. Thanks for your patience on this.

Let me get you up to date. Muggs had her fifth round of chemotherapy today, and is feeling pretty well. These last several days she has felt very well. So good in fact, that on Saturday and Sunday, she walked the two-mile route around our neighborhood. She did great! However, as I may have mentioned before, she has been experiencing some pain in her left hip, so last week, the doctor ordered an x-ray of the area. Also, this past Monday, she had a second CT Scan of the primary tumor in her lung. At our oncology appointment this morning, the news was mixed. We are thrilled that the primary tumor is still responding to the chemotherapy, and has reduced in size by another 33%. This is indeed, very good news. However, the news on the X-ray of the hip and leg region was not as encouraging.

The doctors discovered an "in-bone" tumor, near the neck of her left femur, near where it joins the pelvis. The tumor is about 2 cm in size. There is some good news... the doctors can use radiation therapy to treat the tumor. You will remember that radiation therapy was not an option for us for the primary tumor as Muggs had mantle radiation as a teenager for Hodgkin's Disease.

I want to put this seemingly "new" development in perspective. When Muggs had the original PET Scan in December before beginning treatment, there was a spot in the area of the leg pain that "lit-up", or indicated the presence of cancer cells. They looked at the area more closely, and thought that perhaps it was an anomaly. We think now, that the tumor was perhaps present there all along.

We also know that the cancer that Muggs has is metastatic, meaning that there has been some spreading of the cancer cells. We know, that the pleural lining is involved, and one lymph note also indicated cancer cells, but was not enlarged - none of this is new. Muggs' oncologist believes that the cancer in her leg is related to the primary tumor, as this is not uncommon with this type of cancer. Muggs has an appointment for a bone scan on Friday, to rule-out any other areas that may be involved. Then, on Monday, she has an appointment with the radiologist. She will likely have 5, but perhaps as many as 10 treatments of radiation therapy. The news today was disappointing in the respect that Muggs is ready to get the treatments behind her.

So... where are we? We are endeavoring to trust God with this "new" news as we walk through this. Muggs continues to keep a quiet mind and heart. This has not been an easy season of life, but God has been kind. The Body of Christ - both our local church, as well as the extended Body of Christ has cared for us so well. Our families, friends, neighbors and colleagues have really helped us during this season of trial - and we so very grateful for each of you.

As I close, I want to share some thoughts with you. I have been reading a lot during this time. As I have been seeking to make sense of this battle, I have been helped enormously by the book Suffering and the Sovereignty of God. The book is a compilation of messages on the topic of suffering, delivered at a National Conference hosted by Desiring God Ministries on the topic of suffering in November 2005. I would like to share a couple of quotes from an article written by John Piper with additional comments from David Powlison. The article is available in its entirety by clicking on the link to the right, labeled "Dont Waste Your Cancer". Additionally, the article is included in the appendix of the book, which is available from Desiring God Ministries at www.desiringgod.org.

As I provide these quotes, I am aware that there are differing points of view among Christians regarding cancer, and sickness in general. As I have journeyed through this time of trial, I am convinced of the Sovereignty and Supremacy of God over all things, including cancer. I am not qualified to instruct you here, nor can I cover this topic adequately. I can however, tell you that knowing that God is sovereign over all things, brings comfort, peace, and hope. Dr. Piper's writing has strengthened my understanding, and helped me process through this trial. As a result, my view of God has enlarged, and I am learning to love Him more as I endeavor to embrace his purpose for us during this season.

You will waste your cancer if you do not believe it is designed for you by God... "It will not do to say that God only uses our cancer but does not design it. What God permits, he permits for a reason. And that reason is his design. If God foresees molecular developments becoming cancer, he can stop it or not. If he does not, he has a purpose. Since he is infinitely wise, it is right to call this purpose a design. Satan is real and causes many pleasures and pains. But he is not ultimate. So when he strikes Job with boils (Job 2:7), Job attributes it ultimately to God (2:10) and the inspired writer agrees: “They . . . comforted him for all the evil that the Lord had brought upon him” (Job 42:11). If you don’t believe your cancer is designed for you by God, you will waste it".

You will waste your cancer if you believe it is a curse and not a gift... “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us” (Galatians 3:13). “There is no enchantment against Jacob, no divination against Israel” (Numbers 23:23). “The Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11)".

To this, David Powlison adds: "The blessing comes in what God does for us, with us, through us. He brings his great and merciful redemption onto the stage of the curse. Your cancer, in itself, is one of those 10,000 ‘shadows of death’ (Psalm 23:4) that come upon each of us: all the threats, losses, pains, incompletion, disappointment, evils. But in his beloved children, our Father works a most kind good through our most grievous losses: sometimes healing and restoring the body (temporarily, until the resurrection of the dead to eternal life), always sustaining and teaching us that we might know and love him more simply. In the testing ground of evils, your faith becomes deep and real, and your love becomes purposeful and wise: James 1:2-5, 1 Peter 1:3-9, Romans 5:1-5, Romans
8:18-39".

As always, thanks for being our faithful friends, and for lifting us before the Lord. Please do continue to pray. I will endeavor to do a better job of keeping you posted over the coming days.

For the Family,

Andy

Update - March 5, 2007

Greetings!

It has been a while since I last posted. While it has been a busy few weeks, I am long overdue. Thanks so much for your faithfulness in visiting here. I check daily for traffic, and both amazed and grateful that you continue to visit. Thanks for carrying us on your hearts, and for your prayers for us.

This will be a quick update - I will provide a more thorough update this week. I just wanted to post tonight (0r this morning!) to get you up to date. Muggs has been feeling very well these last few days! She just goes and goes, and seems to rest a bit less than earlier on in the treatment. Last week, she made a couple of trips to the playground with the girls, and we all went to see Chandler in a play at The King's Academy on Saturday evening. He had a significant role, and did an excellent job - as did all of the kids. This may have been the first time some of our friends, who are also on staff at TKA had the opportunity to see Muggs since she started treatment.

This week (Wednesday) Muggs will receive her fourth treatment. She will receive the same chemotherapy drugs, with the new drug (Avastin) added to the treatment. The plan at this point is for her to receive fluids on Friday - to prevent the severe dehydration that she has experienced. This helped a great deal last time. She will likely have fluids again early the following week.

Since so many of you have commented on the specific prayer requests, I thought I would provide a few here. I am adding a couple of requests for some friends of ours as well. They are walking similar roads of suffering, and although I didn't ask their permission to include them here, I am sure they would appreciate your prayers. First, Chandler has a friend from school that has been battling an rare and extremely aggressive form of cancer. As I understand it, Joseph Lee was in remission for quite a while, but a tumor appeared in his bicep last fall. He has been undergoing chemo and radiation since then. A few weeks ago, as they were consulting with the surgeon who was to remove the tumor, the surgeon found no evidence of the tumor - it had disappeared! We praise the God who heals - both miraculously, and through the common grace of medicine.

Here are some requests to help inform your prayers:

Muggs' white blood cell count is low (after a check this week). Please pray for protection against infection. A couple of the children have been sick recently, and we are thankful that Muggs didn't catch whatever was going around

• Please pray for Muggs this week as she receives the medication - that the side effects will be minimal and managed effectively
• Pray that we would continue to depend on the sufficiency of Christ, and press-in to Him during this time, and be aware of our desperate need. We want to experience all that He has for us, and hear Him more clearly
• Please pray for our friends - Doug and Debby. Doug is battling colon cancer, and is having a particularly difficult time. He is currently hospitalized as a result of some side effects of his treatment. Debby has been a tremendous means of grace to us, and has served us - even as she is walking a difficult road as she cares for Doug and their children.
• We became aware of another young woman who, about two years ago, was diagnosed with the same form of cancer that Muggs has. Sharon is still undergoing treatment, but is doing well these days. I had the chance to meet her husband Rob for breakfast a few weeks ago, and he has been an encouragement to me. They too, have young children. They are believers and are trusting God for Sharon's healing. Please pray for Sharon's continued improvement and healing.

Thanks again for all you do to care for us, both tangibly, and through your prayers on our behalf. We are so grateful for you. Our prayer for you is that you sense God's pleasure for the way you have ministered to us during this time.

Quick Upate - Monday February 19, 2007

Good Evening Friends and Family:

Just want to update you on how Muggs is doing since the last chemotherapy treatment. We are now on day 5 (post-treatment) and although she is experiencing some significant fatigue, she has tolerated this round much better than the last two. It seems as if the administration of fluids is key to a better experience. She is continuing to try to do her part to keep her fluid intake constant. She still has difficulty with the taste of water, but is getting creative about the way she gets fluids. Although water is best, she is also eating Popsicles and ice cream bars as well. She does continue to have some nausea, but it is more manageable this time around. Her appetite is some better this round too.

As for the Avastin, the new medication that she received - we think that she tolerated this well, although we don't have a baseline to evaluate any side effects. We understand that side effects with this new drug are not as pronounced, so perhaps she really isn't having any additive side effects.

We continue to experience God's care as expressed through our friends and family, and are so grateful for you. Thanks for continuing to pray for us as we walk this road. Since many have expressed appreciation for specific prayer requests, I thought I would share a few with you tonight:

• Please continue to pray for Muggs' complete healing. Specifically, that the chemo would continue to attack the cancer, and that the new drug would also have its intended effect of preventing blood vessel growth to the primary tumor.
• Muggs is keeping a quiet heart and mind as she walks through this. I know that none of you are surprised by this. God has given her much grace as she has faced this battle. Please pray that she would continue to receive the grace that God is providing.
• We are dealing with some additional illness in the house, as two of our children were recently diagnosed with strep throat. Please pray for God's protection for Muggs - that she doesn't contract this infection.
• I would appreciate your prayers as well - that i would continue to seek God and what He is speaking to me during this time. He has been so kind to meet me during this time, and provide fresh grace for each new day.
• Finally, please pray for the children, that they would have hearts that are attuned to God, and that their hearts would remain pliable and receptive to His truth. And, that they would look for new ways to serve Muggs and be sensitive to her needs each day.

I continue to be amazed that so many of you visit this site and are eager to care for us, and lift us before the Father. I hope that you sense our sincere gratitude and love for you.

For the family,

Andy

Happy Valentine's Day!

Dear Friends and Family:

Thanks for checking-in with us for an update... First, a few words about the photo... Muggs suggested we take it (just for fun) because the glasses matched her outfit so well. I recently found a source for some pretty funky reading glasses, so I bought the pair I'm wearing in the picture. A few of the kids are "totally embarrassed" when I wear them, so naturally, I wear them just because it bugs them - all in good family fun of course!

Muggs had her third round of chemotherapy today. The girls accompanied us to the doctor for the office portion of the visit. They decorated some cookies for Valentine's Day today, so they took them to share with the doctor and staff. We also wanted the girls to see the office and have a chance to see what happens when Muggs goes to the doctor.

We met with the oncologist before she started chemotherapy and learned of a new drug that she wants to add to to Muggs' treatment. The drug, Avastin, has been used to treat colon cancer for some time, but was recently approved by the FDA for first-line treatment of lung cancer. Avastin is different from the chemotherapy regimen in that it is a "targeted therapy" designed to retard or stop blood vessel growth to the tumor. As we understand it, a tumor sends out signals to nearby blood vessels. These signals cause new blood vessels to grow toward the tumor. Once these new vessels reach the tumor, they provide the supply of blood that provides oxygen and other nutrients to the tumor, helping the tumor grow.

We are discovering that treatment involves both science and art. The doctor and nursing staff have been diligently trying go make the experience more comfortable and manageable for Muggs. I think I mentioned before that the doctor wants to get ahead of the dehydration that has caused so much difficulty. So, this Friday, she will go in for fluids before the weekend, hopefully avoiding the severe dehydration that she had before. They will also administer the Avastin during this visit.

I'll close for now, and will keep you posted on how Muggs is doing over the next few days. Before closing, I want to again express our profound gratitude for your care for us. You are ministering life to us in so many ways. So many of you are praying for us, and take time to encourage us by letting us know that you are. Daily, we are reminded of God's specific, intentional care for us - as expressed through you. And, we pray for you daily as well, as our hearts are filled with deep gratitude for your kindness, and the sacrifices so many of you have made for us. Every meal, phone call, note of encouragement, or gift, represents a sacrifice on your behalf, and we are humbled by this.

For the Family,

Andy

Update # 2 for Thursday February 8, 2007

Friends and Family;

This afternoon, we are rejoicing in the abundant mercy and grace of God. We received encouraging news when we visited the oncologist! The primary tumor is responding to treatment. The radiology report reads as follows:

"...mass appears to have contracted slightly since the study of 12/20/06. Associated pleural effusion (fluid) has also reduced. No new abnormality is identified."

Based on the measurements provided from both readings, it looks like it amounts to an approximate 30% reduction in overall size - if my math is correct. We have been praying for God's intervention, and would have counted no growth as an answer to prayer. But God gave us more than what we expected, and we are so very grateful. While we are aware that this is a long-term battle, we are rejoicing in the victory God has given us for today - and it is not insignificant.

As is normally the case, there is more that I would like to add to this posting, but I'll let that go for now. We know you will be rejoicing with us at the encouraging news, and in the faithfulness of God demonstrated towards us. So, because I know many will visit this evening for an update, I wanted to be sure to get this good news posted. Thank you ever so much for your prayers.

Update for Thursday - February 8th

Good Morning!

If you have visited here in the last few days, you are aware that today, we meet with Muggs' doctor to discuss the results of the CT Scan. Even though we have been cautioned not to expect too much progress, or at least not to be discouraged if we don't see much progress, we are still a bit on edge. Perhaps I should speak for myself... I am anxious. Yet, I know that God is the same today, as He always has been, and as He always will be.

Faithfulness is the essence of His character, and of His disposition towards us. Please do pray for us today. Yes, we earnestly desire to learn that the chemotherapy is having its intended effect, and that the tumor is shrinking - or at least, not advancing. But, whatever the report, please pray that we will remain steadfast in our trust in Him. That is difficult for me to even write here, because I want so desperately for God to heal Muggs of this cancer. By faith, I am endeavoring to trust Him nonetheless. And, where my faith is faltering, I am trusting in the faithfulness of Christ, whose perfect faith has been credited to me.

Our appointment is at 1:30 today. I'll update the blog sometime afterwards. Thanks for your faithfulness to pray.

Brief Update

Friends and Family:

First of all, thank you so very much for continuing to visit the site. You may have noticed that I installed a site meter on the blog to measure traffic. Honestly, I was astonished when I visited the site this evening and noticed that we've had almost 200 visits since I installed the counter on Saturday afternoon.

I am very humbled by this, and at the same time, deeply grateful. It reminds me that so many of you are carrying us on your hearts. I am also aware that many of you are diligent to lift us before the Lord - both as you visit, and in the in-between time. I wish that I could reach out to each one of you to express my profound gratitude for caring for us in this way.

The other effect that this kind of traffic has is that it increases the pressure (in a good way) I feel to update more consistently. I have many thoughts to share relative to what we are walking through - I have been keeping hand-written notes on these thoughts and hope to compile them in the next day or so. Keeping up has been difficult. Even though the activity level for us as a family has slowed a bit, we still find ourselves "compressed at the margins" of life. I'm certain that each of you can relate to this. However, just as you are so faithful to "check-in" on us, I want to be faithful to provide fresh content.

I want to share with you a bit about where we are walking these days. I will "unpack" these thoughts in more detail later. As I wrote earlier, the cycle-time between the onset of the effects of the chemotherapy and Muggs' recovery was much shorter this time around. What does seem to have lasted is the fatigue. Muggs tires more easily, and finds that she does not have the stamina to keep her normal pace of life. Both Muggs and I often get discouraged when we ponder what we are facing - in terms of duration. We are aware that this is a longer-term battle, and that's discouraging.

Yet, at the same time, it is possible to grow familiar with one's trials, and lose site of our desperate need for God's intervention. (This is what I will discuss in a later posting) But we are desperate - not only during seasons of trial, but every day. We never really move on from our desperate estate - we just grow self-sufficient. And, when we become self-sufficient, we necessarily fail to depend fully on Christ as our all-sufficient Savior. So this is one tangible way that you can pray for us: That we will constantly be aware of our desperate need, and refuse to rely on our own strength. I was reading this morning from a book containing the writings of Charles Spurgeon. This morning's reading contained the following thought: "God's rest and God's presence is a ring of finest gold set with the choicest pearl." During my most difficult hours, I have found this to be true of my experience - and I never want to move on from His active presence and rest.

There are also a couple of other prayer requests - specifically for what we are facing this week:

• Tomorrow, Muggs has a CT Scan to measure the tumor and evaluate the effectiveness of the chemotherapy. Please pray that we would experience God's peace, and freedom from anxiousness as we await the results. We will discuss the scan results with the doctor on Thursday afternoon
• Please pray that the chemo would have its full effect and that it is effectively killing any cancer cells, and attacking the tumor.
• Pray that Muggs would experience a lifting of the fatigue that she is experiencing, and also relief from some aches and pains resulting from the chemotherapy.
• That God would grant us victory over discouragement, and instead, fill us with His joy.

In closing, thank you again for carrying us on your hearts, and for praying for us. For those of you who are posting comments, they are a steady source of encouragement to us, and a reminder that God is actively caring for us through you. We thank God for you on a daily basis.

For the family,

Andy

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble" Ps 46:1

A Long Overdue Update