Friends and Family:
It has been a most difficult week for me. As you know, Muggs started getting sick with her battle with cancer in the Central Nervous System about the middle of May. It wasnt until after the Celebration Service - actually the day after - that life seemed to come to a screeching halt for me. Ive not done much this week except try to process the loss; and oh, how profound it is. It is difficult to get my arms around the fact that she is "gone". Yet, we continue to experience the sustaining grace of God - His mercies really are new every morning. Even as I write this, I am thankful for His provision, and His faithfulness to carry us through another day.
I promised that I would share with you our experiences over the last few weeks, and I will - only not on this posting. I want to wait a few more days before recounting this. So, please give me grace for a few days, and I will post. I am actually eager to do so, as I believe it will encourage you, and build your faith.
I was encouraged to see so many of you at the funeral home and at the Celebration of her life. It meant so much to the children and me that you would make the time to come stand beside us. One of the effects of our trial, and of the service, is that it has caused me to think of heaven more, and to rejoice that heaven is my destination. As we can now clearly see, our lives are but a vapor - here today, and gone tomorrow.
We are profoundly grateful for you. You have prayed, rejoiced, served, wept, and carried us on your hearts. You have been instruments or conduits through which God has lavishly poured-out His grace on our lives over this short time. I don't know where we would be without your ministry to us in this way. Many of you have expressed a desire to serve us - some of you have felt helpless. I trust however, that you all have prayed; and in so doing, have added your prayers to Jesus' prayers, as He has interceded for us before the Father. What a privilege - please get your arms around that, and know that you have ministered to us in a powerful way.
I would like for you to weigh-in on something. I have been pondering what I should do about this blog space. On the one hand, I feel I should continue to post, if it will serve you and be a help. On the other hand, I have considered taking the space down. I'd like to hear what you think. I am happy to continue, if you think it might serve you in some way. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think. Or, you can always email me at aellise@gmail.com to let me know.
Thanks for living-out what it means to be the Body of Christ, and for bearing our burdens. Please check back in a few days for a new posting.
For the Family,
Andy
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24 comments:
We're still praying for you guys!
The Miracle Family from Charlotte
Andy & family....
Thank you so much for your willingness to share this difficult journey. I know that keeping the blog going may at times tend to be very difficult, but it can also be a healing process as well. You should do what the Lord puts on your heart to do as far as the blog goes. Those who love you, you will continue to share with as they are close by. For those of us far off, we will continue to keep you lifted up to the Throne of Grace so that you might find new mercies each and every day as you have times of rejoicing over the wonderful life of Muggs and through the tears of your loss! What a blessing to know that she is totally healed, in no more pain and in the presence of our wonderful Savior, Jesus Christ. We can only count it a privilege to have known her during your time here in Charlotte, and rejoice with the many lives that she touched along the way. Thanks for being open in sharing yourselves with those who will continue to love and lift you up.
Robin Miracle, Charlotte
It ministers to people who are hurting, but you have to pray and see what God wants you to do. It is His call, Andy. I can tell you this, if God wants you to continue it, He will give you the strength and grace to do it......But, if He doesn't want you to, you will know it and feel it, if not now, in time. Just obey His call whether it be to drop the post, to continue it "just for a season" as He permits you to share and only He knows how long that season would be, or just however God leads you.
Listen for His voice....the still small voice. It may be a seasonal thing.....afterall and last for just some time to come or He may
say something else to you.....Ask Jesus. I like it because it keeps me connected.......It may be that God wants you to keep it a while to minister grace to others through His name....on your road to recovery...and renewal, but, at the same time, like someone else, said, it could be healing for you as well......I feel that God has been in this deeply....this posting.
Ask Him.....He will lead you. CC
The love of God will never lead you where the grace of God cannot keep you.
Andy and family,
It is a priviledge to continue to lift you up in prayer. We are fellow Timothy ministry partners. While I do not know you guys personally, you are family because God made us family. Love to you and yours--we will keep praying.
Andy, you have mentioned more than once that you plan on recounting your last days with Muggs on this blog. I am sure there are many of us (myself included) who would be honored if you shared that with us-especially if, as you say, it would be faith building for all of us. However, I hope you do not feel an obligation to do this. As I have been reading through your families' journey a little each day I have realized what an intimate look into your life I was seeing. Your last days together, though, would be ever so much more so. I feel fairly sure that no one who loves you would feel slighted if you decided to keep those memories to yourself alone. Whatever you do, I would encourage you to jot down your thoughts and feelings on the subject-ASAP- before time changes them.
your sister in Christ,
Sue N./Fort Mill
Andy and kids,
Although we miss Muggs so much, and we would love to hear what you have to share, we know that this is going to be a draining period for you. You have a lot to think and pray about, decisions to make, etc. Please know that we are praying for you, and we will understand whatever you decide.
I think closure is good for all and
if recounting helps you find some
level of closure, that is a good thing. It recounting doesn't help
you begin to find closure, that is not a good thing. Follow your heart.
LIfe doesn't happen overnight.
A marriage of 20 years did not happen overnight.......When you have lived with someone that nearly and dearly for 20 years, life has to be redefined without their actual direct presence, though, their "presence" will always be in your heart. If it helps to share......that is a positive direction to go in. If it
isn't possible to share those moments at this time.......then, let it go. Do not feel obligated...but, just keep those moments in your heart privately. Only share what you feel LED to share. The Shepherd of your heart will lead you and let you know what is RIGHT.
Andy, As you may know, Glenn and I were out of the country when Muggs went to be with the Lord and we were so sorry to not be here with and for you and the children. Now that we are back I have been blessed with several opportunities to visit with Chandler as he is frequently here in our home. He has blessed me by his courage and faith and I feel like I am watching him become a young man right before my eyes. You and Muggs have done a wonderful job before the Lord with this young man. Please know that you are daily in our prayers and that we are here to help in any way that you might need. Please do not hesitate to call. I have shared this verse several times in the past, but will share it with you again as it is my prayer for you>"May the Master take you by the hand and lead you along the path of God's love and Christ's endurance." 2 Thessalonians 3:5 Always in Christ, Joy Page
Andy and family...I was there at the service (out of state for the visitation). I sat in the back as I got there right at 2 for the wonderful celebration and feeling ill at the end so had to step out. So sad, so inspirational, so different from the church I attend. All in all, I was lifted, I was proud of you, I was sad--yet spirited by your words, the songs, the settings, the words of Mugg's friends. Whom am I to opine Andy--but you can count on me to be candid. Continue to write in your journal for your sake and that of the kids. Were I you, I'd take it down. Unless of course doing so helps you release the joy if not sadness. As life happens, there likely is another going through what you went through. It's their turn to blog and your turn to give all you have to your kids, to yourself, and to the quiet solitude you may need at this time. These the words of a person who can't possibly imagine your loss, your time, your demands. You asked and as your truest friend and fan, I only suggest you move on. gd@hd (and eager to see you). g
Love you all so much and continue to carry you all on our hearts. We are grateful for you.
Love, Aaron and Sara
Andy....Thank you for this site. I have come to it during this mourning process often to see a photo of Muggs or read inspiring posts. I think each of us grieves differently and for me, I feel close to Muggs and your family here. As someone stated earlier it might be just for a season but for now it is comforting. Thank you again for this special gift.
YOUR MOTHER IS ALWAYS WITH YOU...
Your mother is always with you...
She's the whisper of the leaves
as you walk down the street.
She's the smell of bleach
in your freshly laundered socks.
She's the cool hand on your brow
when you're not well.
Your mother lives inside your laughter.
She's crystallized in every tear drop.
She's the place you came from,
your first home...
She's the map you follow
with every step that you take.
She's your first love
and your first heart break...
and nothing on earth can separate you.
Not time, Not space...
Not even death...
will ever separate you
from your mother...
You carry her inside of you...
~Author Unknown~
Andy, I just realized that this may be appropriate to share with your children. I had posted it on my blog on Mother's Day in honor of my Mother who passed away one year ago.
I continue to keep you and the children in my thoughts and prayers every day. I pray that Muggs memories will fill all of your hearts with abundant joy.
With Warmest Regards,
Sheri
Thank you for this blog and your willingness to share with us. We are still praying for you and looking forward to growing with you in the days God has planned ahead. We love your family. Thank you for always pointing us back to our Savior even in your trial. God has used you to build our hope for heaven as well. Thank you.
Love, Brian and Billie
Dear Ellise Family ~ I am an extended family member of the Stewarts & Andersons and heard about your loss through them and others at our church (Sovereign Grace of Chesapeake, VA). Your unwavering faith and trust in the Savior's provision and loving purposes even in the midst of unspeakable heartache is amazing!! By God's sustaining grace, you all are forging a powerful testimony that will touch others' lives more than you will ever know. We are all praying for you here in Chesapeake/Virginia Beach. God bless you and keep you in the palm of His hands.
Sometimes life requires more of us than we do of ourselves.
Sometimes God knows we are capable of more than we think is possible.
Sometimes, God will, in love, stretch us to our limits in order to mold us and make us into MORE than we planned on being......
Sometimes.....because of life, because of suffering, because of trials, because of pain and hurt and because of tests and having to endure.......sometimes,in the midst of all this.........He is creating something in us, so precious to Him........that we end up becoming more than we ever meant to be...
God has His ways, and they are not our ways.........Cindy C.
We say we want to be like Jesus...
but, yet....we forget about His nail pierced hands and his nail pierced feet......
We raise our arms and hands in worship...at church, but, yet....
when we leave and go home and begin to feel the nails going through our own hands....When we go to work and feel the pain of the nails being driven in our feet.....When we think we can't hold on any longer or take anymore........we FORGET
about His crown of thorns......
But, yet.....we say, we want to be like Him.
I have to wonder if I really mean it...I held a nail in the palm of my hand in front of a room of VBS workers 14 years ago as I was Directing VBS that year........and I gave each of them a nail and I said, "Ladies, press the point into the palm of your hand..." I did it also.....and it did not last very long.......and then, I made my point, ESPECIALLY to myself........
I said,"Folks, THAT is who we are."
When life gets tough....we scream....when life starts hurting,
we pout.......and we doubt...but, yet, we say, we want to be LIKE JESUS..........
I went on to say....."Let's make it our prayer to live yielded lives....so, that the nails can go on through, so that we can be more like Him......" I also told them that these are the kind of leaders our children at Vacation Bible School need this year.......and,
there was not a sound in the room..........one lady cried......some had hearts that grew harder.....and some yielded and humbled themselves in front of
a God who has nothing but their best interest at heart........We tell Him we want to be like Him, but yet.........we give up, we give in........we do everything but yield to Him........we do everything but let the nails go through........and we never do fullly become like Him........He truly is a God of grace....and mercy.......and forgiveness. None of us is worthy........We all need a Saviour, we all need each other in order to let the nails go through.......so we can together be more like Him.
You are NOT alone. Cindy
Andy & family,
You and your family have been in our prayers for months. I was out of town during the service. But, I heard that the Holy Sprit was truly present in the hearts of many who attended the celebration of Mugg's Life.
Muggs was an encouragement to me during the last few months of her life with us here on earth. I have had a wide range of health issues since last fall. I was also a monitor with the Timothy program last semester. On days when I did not feel good and really wanted to not go to work as a monitor, I would think of Muggs in the copy room and say to myself, "If Muggs can go to work as a monitor.... then I can too." Because I just knew as poorly as I felt. Muggs was going through so much more than I was.
Muggs was an inspiration to many. She is in Heaven .... her pain is gone... We all miss her...
You and your children continue to be in our prayers. Your blog is a reminder of how uncertain life is and how little time some of us may have left to serve our Heavenly Father here on earth... and we need to use every moment we have to serve and honor our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
Thank You for your blog...
Nena Pratt & Family
We are praying for you'll and love you ... The Rogers
Andy, I was saddened to hear of Muggs' passing. I can't even imagine how difficult it must be for you and your children to come to terms with everything. I am sure your faith will help ease your burden and bring you and your children closer. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Sincerely,
Joe Kuppich and family
Andy,
I just caught up on the posts since the funeral (2 I think). They encourage me in the Lord, just as letters from believers have done for 2000 and more years. Whether you write or not is between you and our Savior. To do it in your own strength, without His calling, would be of little benefit to you or any one else.
Your sister in Christ,
Cathy Cox
FBCW/Timothy
Andy,
As I quickly approach the 10 year anniversary of beginning the season you have just begun several thoughts come to mind...
1. You will never stop seeing God's goodness in this...for the rest of your life - if not for eternity - God will continue to reveal His kindness and His goodness to you, Muggs and the children. In my humble opinion, be in no rush write a final anything on this subject. I vote for you to keep posting. =D
2. Your story if part of THE story. It will continue to minister to the nations, so I vote for you to keep posting. =D
3. Sometimes we get so busy with the business of life that we don't sit still long enough to ponder what is in our hearts...but God reveals things to us in the things He has us type...so I vote for you to keep posting. =D
In closing, I vote for you to keep posting. =D
Do it in whatever timing God has for it. For me, I'm just starting to write about my story and like I said, it has been almost 10 years. But God ministers to me through it, and He ministers to others through it, and my daughter is coming to know her Lord in much deeper ways through it. If not for the rest of us, write for your kids who will learn for the rest of their lives how God chose their mom to do SO many extraordinary things - including being your wife, their mom, my friend, an example to everyone she ever met, and a child of His who He crushed His own Son to save.
God has chosen you to do a work for the kingdom...Never stop sharing how THE story was true even in your story. Keep writing!
The Ellises are near and dear to my heart!
Amazed by His grace,
Colleen Barbato
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